I can't believe Christmas is only a week away. I've been slightly distracted with the large child in my abdomen making me miserable with anxiety in regards to his arrival. I don't know how women go on to have many children, this is beyond my scope of coping. I guess we are are blessed with different abilities; some women's include the ability to endure, or *gasp*, enjoy pregnancy. I'm just really glad that this can't last much longer, like days, well my doctor will tell me how long if I make it to Tuesday, which I'm sure I will.
With Emma I was sure I would have to be induced, mostly because my sister and one of my close friends had had to, and they were the most recent pregnancies I had witnessed. She came a week early, which took me by surprise. So of course I assumed this one would come as early, or earlier, than she did. Nope. I'm very nervous about having to be induced, I still hold out a tiny bit of hope it will happen on its own (and no, there's no way the due date could be more than a day or two off).
I've tried basically every natural induction method out there that one can find via Dr. Google. Obviously none of them have worked. At this point I highly doubt any of them work and that any success is solely coincidental. I seriously want this kid out and I feel very helpless and powerless in making that happen. I'm not the type of person who is all crunchy and anti medical intervention. If I have a headache I will take whatever I can to get rid of it. If I get sick, I go to the doctor. I trust (for the most part) the medical community. They are people, they make mistakes, they have bad days and make bad decisions just like the rest of us. I am not the type to focus on the side effects or possible bad outcomes of things...usually. But this induction thing has got me nervous. I know many people who've had them, had no complications, had no problems. Well, ya, I've watch The Business of Being Born a few too many times (even though I've never seriously considered a natural birth). I really really really don't want Pitocin. If they give me that I want the epidural first. I remember the pain, the horrid awful pain, of natural contractions, and apparently Pitocin makes contractions worse. I don't know if I can handle it. I do not have much of a pain tolerance whatsoever. I am scared of the pain. I know those who have natural labors will tell you that it's "pain with a purpose" and you can't fight the pain you have to work with it, blah blah blah, F THAT. It freaking hurts, I don't give a crap what the purpose is. I know women have been doing this without pain meds for billions of years, ya and now they have pain meds, so for ME, why should I suffer through pain IF I have the option of not, thank you very much. Kind of got off on a tangent there.
Anyway, the moral of the story is, I'm huge and tired and want this large child OUT. If you are reading this, say a prayer, or do a voodoo dance, or sacrifice a grasshopper, or send labor vibes, or positive thoughts, or whatever floats your boat, my way!
