An Ode to my Scale

Oh scale, you are like an old friend, in that when you tell me what I want to hear I think fondly of you, and when you don't I call you names under my breath.  You are always there waiting for me no matter how long I've been away; there to tell me how bad I do without you.  When we are close, I see you several times a day.  Sometimes you are such a liar though and I want to smash you with a sledge hammer.  At times I think you are just jealous of my relationship with food, though you remind me every time I see you that that relationship is abusive.  I don't want to believe what you say sometimes, so I have you tell me 20 times in 3 minutes.  Sometimes I feel like you really get me, and sometimes I think you don't know me at all.  I wish you would tell my pants what you told me this morning, as they don't believe me yet.  There are so many things I want you to tell me, but you are one of those mysterious friends who only tells me a little bit at a time, even though I want to hear more and more and more.  I will be patient with you though, I will let you take it slow knowing, in the end, you will tell me exactly what I want to hear.  Until I see you again, scale, rest well.