And the 7th day she reflected

I've actually been trying to reflect everyday, but I thought the title was catchier this way.  Today is the 7th day of working on maintenance.  It's been one of the best weeks I've had in a long time.  I had Jason train me Monday, Wednesday, and Friday -- the most lifting I've done in one week in AGES!  I've started learning how to do exercises I've never done before, like Cleans.  I'm completely excited about this type of workout.  I've never really done low reps (like 2-3 reps) and high weight (high weight being subjective of course), but it's AWESOME!  I seriously love it.  I haven't dreaded any of my workouts this week.  I did cardio Tuesday and Thursday, a half hour of fairly intense intervals.  Rest Saturday and today.  I need it too, I'm sore as hell in my upper body! 

Calories?  So glad you asked.  Just as a reference I started this week (Monday) at 141.4 pounds.  Obviously had gone up a few pounds, I've been in the 130s again since Tuesday.  Trying to maintain apparently has helped me stabilize a little lower, very exciting, kind of let's me know I'm on the right track!  I know very well it takes a while to really know what maintenance calories are, so that's why I'm continuing to weigh myself daily, I want to see if any patterns emerge.  I'm tracking my calories diligently on myfitnesspal.com, and aiming for 2250 on workout days, and at least 140 grams of protein on lifting days.  Yesterday was a rest day but I still ate 2250 instead of the 2000 goal for rest days, well, because I was hungry.  I made a poor decision for a mid-afternoon snack that left me feeling very unsatisfied (note to self for the future), and I just decided if I get really hungry I'm allowed to eat (been struggling with giving myself permission to eat when hungry).  I'm not going to sweat 250 calories, especially since I really don't know if 2000 on a "rest" day is breaking even or not ("rest", HA!  I have a 1 year old and a 3.5 year old, even rest days are pretty damn active).

While I'm extremely hopeful and excited at this new phase of my life, I'm kind of sad too.  I've been struggling so hard the past months eating as little as humanly possible and still function, fighting binges, and getting into some very detrimental habits, focusing solely on the scale, and I could have been doing my body so many favors by eating more and exercising.  It's so COMMON SENSE, but I was in a bad head space, wouldn't hear it, refused to listen to reason.  I'm like that about most things, if I've made up my mind about something (even if it's wrong) when I'm in that mindset there's just no reasoning with me.  It's a very immature way to be, I'm working on it.