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Monday, December 31, 2012

A Year of Weight Loss in Review

I didn't start the year off losing weight hard core, I had a 12 day old baby at that point and was too exhausted to think of anything but the task at hand, though that's not to say it wasn't constantly on my mind.  I had reached a high pregnancy weight of 236 pounds at my last Dr. appointment a few days before I gave birth in December (which, ironically, was the exact same pregnancy weight as with Emma).  Then after 4 rough weeks of breastfeeding and making the tough decision to stop, I was at 207 pounds (Mid-January 2012) and pleased with my weight loss in that short time.  Frighteningly, about 2 months later (in March) I stepped on the scale again and was 220 pounds!  See, I stopped breastfeeding, and of course wasn't pregnant anymore, but continued to eat as though I was supporting another life (a full grown man, at that).  I was totally horrified, and it was by far the highest weight I'd ever been (non-pregnant).  I'm 5'6" tall, and at 220 that put my BMI at 35.5, which was WELLLLLLLL into the obese category (obese starting at a BMI of 30).  I had a 3 month old and yet was still wearing maternity clothes because nothing else would fit.  On March 22nd, a Thursday, I decided I had enough of feeling miserable and unhappy with my body and that it was ridiculous to continue on that way.

I've lost a total of 96.6 pounds since my high pregnancy weight on 12/20/11.
I've lost a total of 80.6 pounds since my high non-pregnancy weight on 3/22/12 (that's 40 weeks).
I've gone from 236 pounds to 139.4 pounds in one year.
I've lost a total of 108 inches off my body since I first took my measurements on 3/31/12 at 211.6 pounds, so obviously even more than that total.
My waist is now smaller than my thighs used to be!
I've lost OVER a foot around my stomach.
I've lost OVER a foot around my hips.
I've gone from size 20 jeans being too small, to size 6 jeans being too big.
I've gone from a tight 44DD bra size to a comfortable 36C.
I've gone from having XL shirts be to snug to M shirts being perfect.
My BMI has gone from 38.1 (pregnancy high weight)/35.5 (regular high weight) to 22.4 (obese to normal).
I've gone from a body fat of well over 40% to 25%.
In one year I've gone from the most I've ever weighed, to the least I've ever weighed!  Well, I'm sure at some point as a pre-teen or young teen I weighed this much (and less obviously), but I was also shorter.  I'm now a couple pounds less than I was on my wedding day, and at that point that was the smallest I'd ever been.

You know that cliche saying "A year from now you'll wish you started today", well, I know technically my year-since-I-started anniversary isn't until 3/22/13, but it still stands.  2013 will come and go just like every single other year does; on this day next year you will either be reflecting on all of your accomplishments (of any kind, not just weight loss) or thinking about all of the things you wish you'd done.  Don't put off achieving the goals you want to attain!  Now is the time.  You never know how much time you have. . . and Carpe Diem, etc. etc.  The point I'm trying to make, while using every tired old saying they ever made, is:  If you don't like something about your life (whether it be your weight, your job, your living situation, your vices, whatever) DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  You have control over changing your life, so if you aren't happy with it, get to work!

December Losses

December Losses
-8.2 pounds
-8 total inches lost
-.9% body fat

Inches broken down:
Neck -.25
Upper Arm -.25 ea.
Middle Arm -0
Lower Arm -0
Bust -0
Chest @ Armpits -0
Under Bust -.75
Natural Waist -.5
Waist @ Belly Button -.25
Hips -.75
Butt -.5
Upper Thighs -.5 ea.
Middle Legs -.5 ea.
Lower Legs -.75ea.
Upper Calves -.75 ea.
Middle Calves -.5 ea.

Friday, December 21, 2012

End of the 28 days

I forgot to check in yesterday (Day 28 of 28).  It was a busy day with it being my son's birthday, and party, I went Christmas shopping while my daughter was in preschool, and then met a friend for dinner.  Yesterday I weighed in at 139.6, so while I didn't make that 100 pound goal, I still got into the 130s!  So that's a huge accomplishment.  I was up to 141 this morning from all my indulgences yesterday (cake, ice cream, and pizza at the party, Mexican food and drinks with my friend).  Today is not an on-plan day either, so I really have to be strict over the weekend to make up for these couple days.  Of course soon to follow are Christmas Eve and Christmas day, both of which we have family dinners to attend with lots of food and treats.  My "plan" (if you would even call it that), is to clean it up again the 26th - 30th, then there is another family get together on New Years Eve.  I want to enjoy all of those days without worrying too much about the calorie content, but then go back on plan.  I should be able to at least keep my weight in check through the 1st then get back on plan and lose the rest of what I want to lose (don't know the number) in January and February.  I'm hoping to get to goal by March at least.  Of course I'm hoping for sooner but who knows.  Just thinking out loud here really.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Day 27 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/02 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 12/06 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 12/07 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2, calories 1313, no workout
Day 19, 12/11 - weight 142.6, calories ~1200, no workout
Day 20, 12/12 - weight 142.6, calories ?, no workout
Day 21, 12/13 - weight 141.2, calories 1469, no workout
Day 22, 12/14 - weight 142.8, calories 1220, no workout
Day 23, 12/15 - weight 141.4, calories - not counting today, no workouts
Day 24, 12/16 - weight 142.8, calories - didn't count, no workouts
Day 25, 12/17 - weight 142.8, calories - didn't count, no workouts
Day 26, 12/18 - weight 142.4, calories - didn't count, no workouts
Day 27, 12/19 - weight 140.8, calories - didn't count, no workouts

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

Haven't been counting calories but have stayed on plan.  I just get so sick of logging all my food.  I need to do it sometimes, especially when I start getting off track, and that seems to work for me.  The thought of counting calories every day for the rest of my life is awful, but it's there and it works and I use it when I need to.  New low today!  First real loss since the 10th!  Less than a pound away from the 130s!  Unbelievable!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Patterns

I've been recording my weight daily on a little weigh-in app on my phone every since I got in like a month and a half ago.  I weigh daily (obvs), but have only gone through phases where I actually record it daily -- usually I just record when I lose.  It's helped to kind of see a pattern.  I kind of go down, up a little, down, up a lot, down, down, up a little, down, up a lot, etc.  I love numbers and graphs and data, so I find this kind of stuff fun and exciting.  Anyway, below is a little screen shot of the graphed out weigh-ins since October 26th.  That is all.

Day 26 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/02 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 120/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 120/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2, calories 1313, no workout
Day 19, 12/11 - weight 142.6, calories ~1200, no workout
Day 20, 12/12 - weight 142.6, calories ?, no workout
Day 21, 12/13 - weight 141.2, calories 1469, no workout
Day 22, 12/14 - weight 142.8, calories 1220, no workout
Day 23, 12/15 - weight 141.4, calories - not counting today, no workouts
Day 24, 12/16 - weight 142.8, calories- didn't count, no workouts
Day 25, 12/17 - weight 142.8, calories - didn't count, no workouts
Day 26, 12/18 - weight 142.4, calories - didn't count, no workouts

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

Obviously won't be making my goal.  Some of it definitely had to do with not putting my full effort in.  Perhaps I could have made it, I don't know.  Getting sick definitely threw a wrench in things, but I didn't workout hardly at all and I had a couple off plan days.  I would have had to be 100% to make it, I guess I wasn't willing.  That's ok.  I really did just plan on maintaining between Thanksgiving and New Years, and I've lost, so even if I just maintain this weight through the 1st of the year I'll be happy with that.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Day 24 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/02 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 120/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 120/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2, calories 1313, no workout
Day 19, 12/11 - weight 142.6, calories ~1200, no workout
Day 20, 12/12 - weight 142.6, calories ?, no workout
Day 21, 12/13 - weight 141.2, calories 1469, no workout
Day 22, 12/14 - weight 142.8, calories 1220, no workout
Day 23, 12/15 - weight 141.4, calories - not counting today, no workouts
Day 24, 12/16 - weight 142.8, calories

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

Went out for dinner with a friend last night.  Definitely didn't overdo it, but it was Mexican food, so like one bite is about 79866 calories.  Worth it.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Day 23 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/02 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 120/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 120/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2, calories 1313, no workout
Day 19, 12/11 - weight 142.6, calories ~1200, no workout
Day 20, 12/12 - weight 142.6, calories ?, no workout
Day 21, 12/13 - weight 141.2, calories 1469, no workout
Day 22, 12/14 - weight 142.8, calories 1220, no workout
Day 23, 12/15 - weight 141.4, calories - not counting today, no workouts

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

No point in posting the workout portion, I've done nothing.  Still sick, now my son is sick.  It's dreary here today.  I usually love the rain since we don't get much of it, but it's annoying today.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Day 22 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/02 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 120/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 120/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2, calories 1313, no workout
Day 19, 12/11 - weight 142.6, calories ~1200, no workout
Day 20, 12/12 - weight 142.6, calories ?, no workout
Day 21, 12/13 - weight 141.2, calories 1469, no workout
Day 22, 12/14 - weight 142.8, calories

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 3:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 4:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Still sick.  Totally a bummer when the scale hovers or goes up when you have been in a deficit.  So annoying.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Day 21 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/02 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 120/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 120/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2, calories 1313, no workout
Day 19, 12/11 - weight 142.6, calories ~1200, no workout
Day 20, 12/12 - weight 142.6, calories ?, no workout
Day 21, 12/13 - weight 141.2,

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week  3:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week


So sick yesterday.  Barely ate anything.  Feeling a little better today.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Day 20 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/02 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 120/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 120/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2, calories 1313, no workout
Day 19, 12/11 - weight 142.6, calories ~1200, no workout
Day 20, 12/12 - weight 142.6,

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week  3:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week


Sick today.  Feel like total crap.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Day 19 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/02 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 120/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 120/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2, calories 1313, no workout
Day 19, 12/11 - weight 142.6,

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week  3:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week


I definitely have a touch of whatever my daughter has.  Was up quite a bit throughout the night with her and was drinking a lot of water.  I was expecting a little gain on the scale due to that.  Not worried about it.  Got my calories back into a normal range yesterday and that's the plan today as well, 1200-1500, and if I happen to feel better and workout I will eat a tad more.  Haven't eaten breakfast yet, nothing sounds good, but I will eat.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Day 18 of 28 and a BIG mini-goal met

The Breakdown:
Day 01, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 02, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 03, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 04, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 05, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 06, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 07, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 08, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 09, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 120/2 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/03 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/04 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/05 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 12/06 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 12/07 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/08 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/09 - weight 142.4, calories 792, no workouts
Day 18, 12/10 - weight 141.2

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week  3:
5.8 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


************************************************

Lowest weight ever!!!


Mini goals:
1st mini goal: 199.8, get under 200!

2nd mini goal: 193, my pre-pregnancy weight.

3rd mini goal: 185.8, no longer considered obese.

4th mini goal: 175, which I got down to in January 2011, a few months before I got pregnant with Luke.

5th mini goal: 163, was my Labor Day goal, (reached a few days late).

6th mini goal: 154.8, no longer considered overweight.

7th mini-goal: 152, how much I weighed when I met Jason.

8th mini-goal: 149.8, because it's the 140s! Holy crap!

9th mini-goal: 145, drivers license weight.

10th mini-goal: 142, lowest weight I've seen as an adult, maybe even as a teen, and my wedding day weight.

11th mini-goal: 139.8, because it's the 130s! OMG!

12th mini-goal: 135, my original goal weight.

13th mini-goal: 130, my new goal weight.

(Secret 14th mini-goal: 125, so I have a fluctuation buffer of 125-130 for maintenance.)

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Day 17 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 9, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/2 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/3 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/4 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/5 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 12/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 12/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/8 - weight 143.2, calories 1034, no workouts
Day 17, 12/9 - weight 142.4,

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week  3:
4.6 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

Certainly pleased with the scale this morning.  I'm just a half pound away from the lowest weight I've EVER been since reaching this height sometime in high school!  142 was the lowest I've ever gotten, that was back in 2006 right before my wedding.  Can't believe I'm here again!  Never ever thought it was possible.  

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Day 16 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 9, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/2 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/3 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/4 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/5 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 12/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 12/7 - weight 144, calories 1220, no workouts
Day 16, 12/8 - weight 143.2

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week  3:
3.8 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Well, I'm doing much better in the eating department the last several days.  Even on the 3rd and 4th, I didn't record, but I did do well eating.  Sometimes I just hate calorie counting, sometimes I don't mind it.  So I do on the days I don't mind, and don't on the days I do.  With the exception of periods of time I really "need" to calorie count to get me back on track, I think that's a good plan to just do it when it doesn't irritate me.

Even though I've gotten back to good, I really don't believe it's possible to get down tot 136 in 12 days.  I'm sure if I did low carb and low calorie I could, but it would be a lot of water weight, and the second I ate anything with carbs (and ESPECIALLY with Christmas just a few days after) I can see the rebound for that being HUGE.  I don't want to deal with a huge rebound, so not making it seems better than pushing too far to make it by that date then struggling for weeks to get back to that number -- which I think is a sure bet would happen.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Day 15 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 9, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/2 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/3 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/4 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/5 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 12/6 - weight 144.8, calories 989, no workouts
Day 15, 12/7 - weight 144

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week  3:
3 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

Please do forgive the low calories the last couple days.  I promise it's not a long term thing, just taking advantage of my appetite being low due to so many high calorie days.  Finally dropped a respectable amount today!  2 lbs away from my all time low.  Sucking in the exercise department!

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Day 14 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 9, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/2 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/3 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/4 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/5 - weight 145.2, calories 860, cardio
Day 14, 12/6 - weight 144.8, calories

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
2.2 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week


Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

Half way mark, yet not halfway there.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Day 13 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 9, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/2 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/3 - weight 147.6, calories ?, no workouts
Day 12, 12/4 - weight 146.2, calories ?, no workouts
Day 13, 12/5 - weight 145.2, calories ?,

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
1.8 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Yesterday was very busy and I wasn't able to post.  My daughter started preschool, just Tuesdays and Thursdays for 3.5 hours, but it was very hard for me.  She's been begging to go to school since she turned 3 in May, and I finally gave in because she craves that interaction with other kids that I just don't provide for her.  She had a great day at school and loved it, didn't bat an eye when I left her, that was very hard for me.  I, of course, want her to be independent and I feel proud I've raised her to be ready to be away from me, but at the same time it kind of hurt.  When I went to pick her up she didn't want to leave and threw the biggest fit I've ever ever experienced.  That was super hard too (aside from just the embarrassment) because of course I kind of pictured her being happy to see me and to talk all the way home about her day, but instead she screamed and cried the whole way home.  It was awful and it really hurt my feelings on top of leaving me feeling like a total failure as a parent.  Had a rough night with the both kids last night, and among other things, I feel extremely bad today so far.  I really hate starting a new day feeling like crap in just all areas of my life.  Trying to be kind to myself in spite of all of that.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Day 11 of 28

The Breakdown:Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 9, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/2 - weight 147.8, calories ~ 1400, no workouts
Day 11, 12/3 - weight 147.6,

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
+.6 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

I am starting to DREAD coming here every  single day to report my short comings.  In a way it's good, if I didn't commit publicly I would have just flat out quit by now.  I haven't worked out in like a week.  My eating is MEH, some days decent, some days crappy, some days just too much even though the food isn't terrible.  I mean, I know this is just kind of how life goes, but I just get so disappointed in myself.  I know there's no way I'm probably even going to get under 140 by 12/20, much less to 136, so at this point it's just keeping my word that I will try to continue to lose despite this time of year being very hard on me eating-wise.  Food is my struggle, and it has been as long as I can remember.  I like to eat too much, and of very calorie dense foods.  I'll tell ya what though, I've been basically maintaining this weight, so I don't know if maintenance will be as hard as I thought if I basically just do what I've been doing -- which is eating kind of whatever a few days a week, and being semi-strict a couple days a week, along with weighing every day to make sure I own up to what I'm doing.  Just clinging to a small hope that I'll get a post-TOM whoosh of a pound or two in the next few days.

These last 10 lbs can go straight to hell!  I know if I buckled down for REAL it would not be this much of a struggle.  WHY can I not throw myself into it like I usually can!?  Am I just tired of it all, am I just scared of reaching my goal, am I just lazy?  Probably just the lazy thing!  UG!!!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Day 10 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 9, 12/01 - weight 149, calories ~1900, no workouts
Day 10, 12/2 - weight 147.8,

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
+.8 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136

Glad my weight is down, but I lost it after dinner and ate crap like wheat thins, jelly beans, and popcorn.  I definitely am feeling disappointed in myself for losing focus and not doing what I committed to doing.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Day 9 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6, calories - didn't record past breakfast, no workouts
Day 9, 12/01 - weight 149,

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
+2 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Not much to say, obviously need to get back on track today.

November Losses

Took measurements today, though I usually do it on the last day of the month.  I used my weight from yesterday.  Not bad.  I'd be happy with the same stats for December.  Been rough the last 2 months, hoping this month will be great.


November Losses
-6.2 pounds
-5.75 total inches lost
-1.5% body fat

Inches broken down:
Neck -0
Upper Arm -.25 ea.
Middle Arm -
Lower Arm -0
Bust -0
Chest @ Armpits -0
Under Bust -0
Natural Waist -1
Waist @ Belly Button -1
Hips -1
Butt -0
Upper Thighs -.25 ea.
Middle Legs -0 ea.
Lower Legs -0ea. (new)
Upper Calves -.75 ea.
Middle Calves -0 ea.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Day 8 of 28 - Worse off than when I started

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6, calories ~ 2300, no workouts
Day 8, 11/30 - weight 147.6,

Recap Week 1:
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Recap Week 2:
+.6 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Well, as one can plainly see I did not do my workouts for week 1 like I planned on.  Lazy, no excuses, just didn't want to, wasn't willing.  Had pizza for dinner last night, again just being lazy.  Didn't go overboard as far as how much, but obviously was not in a deficit!  Also, Domino's doesn't have the calorie content of their newer Handmade Pan Pizza on their website, but I can only assume it has more calories than their handtossed because it's breadier and seems like there's more cheese on it.  So I can probably safely guess my calories were somewhere around 2300 for the day, but possibly even 400 calories higher I'd think.  Not only that but of course TOM, and so my weight is up MORE today.

I didn't do my normal measurements like I usually do on the last day of the month.  Mostly because I'm bloated, but partially because I had to be at work early this morning.  But ya, mostly the bloated thing.  I will do it tomorrow regardless though.

Honeslty, I want to quit this 28 day challenge because I feel like I've already failed.  But I will keep going.  The funny thing is that my jeans are still loose today, so I guess I'm not that terribly fat afterall.  I have to continually remind myself that people (generally, anyway) do not see me as a fat person even if I see myself as one sometimes. 

In January I will officially be on the wonderful insurance my kids and husband have been on since July, YAY!  I think I may see a counselor about my body image issues.  Sometimes I think I'm ok, but sometimes I really think I may have a problem.  No telling until I talk to someone I guess.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Making it to goal: Ramblings

I've been super motivated to make it to this 136 goal by 12/20, if you've read recently you know.  Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about my goals and how I will know when I'm happy and ready for maintenance.  Sometimes I'm already happy!  Sure I'd like to trim some fat off the tummy/hips/love handle area, and add some muscle to the booty area as it has gotten rather sad looking; but over all I'm pretty happy as it is.

I committed to this 28 days, so I will do it; but I'm waivering in my belief of the importance of getting to 100 lbs by the 1 year mark, especially since I didn't really start TRYING to lose weight until March.  It's weird because I just kind of still have this thing inside me that feels like I'm not allowed to be happy, confident, and feeling good just yet.  I feel like it's not good ENOUGH yet, so I can't be done.  I kind of want to be done though, ya know!?  I'm close to that 136, 10 pounds or so doesn't seem like much in the scheme of things anymore.  I had then set these lower goals of getting into the 120s too, but I just don't know.  And then when I start thinking that I don't know if it's because really I'm find and a few more pounds is good, and I look good, and I feel good so why not just maintain; OR if I'm starting to think that because this is a comfort zone and going lower is unknown territory and I'm scared.  I feel like I probably know which one it is, but now I've talked myself into believing I don't know.  It's weird to not trust yourself.  But I have a history of disguising my excuses as "reasonable explainations/justifications", and I also have been known to be unreasonable in my goal setting -- so I don't know.

In short.  I guess I know I'm not done just yet, but I just can't imagine it's that far away.  It's probably more a matter of being consistent with weight training as to change body composition than anything.

Day 7 of 28

The Breakdown:Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6, calories 1377, no workouts
Day 7, 11/29 - weight 146.6,

Recap:
.4 of 11 pounds lost total
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


Wow, looks like I've left my both cardio and weights left to do today if I'm going to get it all in.  Also I realize my stretching is not going so well.  BOO!

Been doing well.  A little distracted but good.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Day 6 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2, calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146, calories 1523, cardio
Day 6, 11/28 - weight 146.6,

Recap:
.4 of 11 pounds lost total
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
2 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


I feel much leaner today even though the scale is up.  TOM is due any moment so I know that's what's going on.  Been good with calories and exercise so I'm not sweating it.  I'm excited to take my measurements on Friday like I do at the end of every month. 

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Double Standard

I think most would agree it would be incredibly rude to make a comment to an overweight person while they were eating like "Wow, you sure are shoveling it in.  MAN!  You eat a lot!  No wonder you're so fat!".  Right!?  I know that there are some jerks out there who say super rude things (and worse), but it certainly isn't socially acceptable to do so!

Why, then, does it seem to be just fine to make comments the opposite way!?

I saw it all the time growing up in regards to my mom, who was always very thin.  And I've seen it with my sister as well, also very thin.  And I have seen it with one of my thin friends.  And NOW I get to experience it, and let me tell you, it can be a little wearing!

I don't know exactly at what point it happened, but it was fairly recently, I have gotten comments like:

Do you eat?
Why aren't you eating?
Are you anorexic?
Are you going to eat?
Is that all you're eating?
It seems like you don't eat anymore!
Here have some cake/pie/chips/cookies/second helping!  You are getting too skinny!


I'll admit at first it was a little fun getting these comments, but it has started to make me incredibly self conscious at any gathering where there will be food when the food police are constantly present.  Why do people think it's ok to comment on what other people eat.  Or on other people's bodies for that matter.  You don't really hear people say "Dang,  you sure are getting fat, you better stop eating so damn much!".  Again, I'm sure there are some total douche bags out there who speak to others like this, but it isn't considered ok!  So why then is it ok to say to someone "You're getting too skinny!" in a slightly disgusted manner.  I'm starting to get it from people I barely know, and I KIND OF get it, in a way.  When I was heavy I would see someone who had lost weight and think that they looked really good, and yet they would talk about losing more, and it would kind of irritate me because I was sitting there all fat, and there they sat looking perfect and yet wanted to look even more perfect.  I would sometimes take it as a personal attack, which of course it had nothing to do with me.  I do try to keep that in mind, because typically that's where those types of comments are coming from.  It's their issue, not mine. 

But, just as I would never in a million years say to someone "You are gaining too much weight, you need to lose some!", I don't appreciate being told "You are losing too much weight, you need to stop!".  While I realize it's typically coming from people who care about me, and just want me to be happy and think I already look good it's becoming slightly annoying.  No one said a word when I gained a crap ton of weight!  I know I look good (not to be totally conceited or anything), especially compared to how I looked dozens and DOZENS of pounds ago, I look much better clothed than in the buff.  I have many many more pounds of excess fat to lose, especially in my midsection!  Sometimes I'm tempted to lift my shirt and show people when they tell me to stop losing weight, that'd be a shocker wouldn't it!?

I do have this theory though, that since skinny is such a culturally GREAT thing here in America (well, and so many other places), "insulting" someone about their skinniness is about the equivalent of disgustedly telling someone they are too rich.  Like, ya it's kind of an insult but kind of a compliment at the same time.  Of course that isn't always the case, but I think it's true a good part of the time.

Day 5 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2,  calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145, calories 1428, weight training
Day 5, 11/27 - weight 146,

Recap: 
1 of 11 pounds lost total
2 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136



Not at all surprised my weight is up today, TOM is due today and I usually do go up at least a pound or 2.  It may be a good 6 days before I lose.  Just keeping at it.  I'm due for some cardio today.  It's a hard day for getting that in, so I'll have to wait till the kids are in bed to either go for a run outside or make it to the gym.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Day 4 of 28 and another mini-goal met

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2,  calories 1294, cardio
Day 4, 11/26 - weight 145

Recap: 
2 of 11 pounds lost total
1 of 3 weight sessions for the week
1 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136


My mom came over and watched the kids while I went to the gym yesterday afternoon.  I ran for 30 mins, then I did running intervals for another 30 minutes, then I did the stairmaster for 20 minutes.  I really just didn't want to go home lol, that's really the only reason I stayed so long!!!


__________________________________________

Mini goals:
1st mini goal: 199.8, get under 200!

2nd mini goal: 193, my pre-pregnancy weight.

3rd mini goal: 185.8, no longer considered obese.

4th mini goal: 175, which I got down to in January 2011, a few months before I got pregnant with Luke.

5th mini goal: 163, was my Labor Day goal, (reached a few days late).

6th mini goal: 154.8, no longer considered overweight.

7th mini-goal: 152, how much I weighed when I met Jason.

8th mini-goal: 149.8, because it's the 140s! Holy crap!

9th mini-goal: 145, drivers license weight.

10th mini-goal: 142, lowest weight I've seen as an adult, maybe even as a teen, and my wedding day weight.

11th mini-goal: 139.8, because it's the 130s! OMG!

12th mini-goal: 135, my original goal weight.

13th mini-goal: 130, my new goal weight.

(Secret 14th mini-goal: 125, so I have a fluctuation buffer of 125-130 for maintenance.)

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Day 3 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146, calories 1441, weight training, stretching
Day 3, 11/25 - weight 145.2

Recap: 
1.8 of 11 pounds lost total
1 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
1 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136



Day 2 didn't present much issue staying on plan.  Though it was probably one of the worst days I've had home alone with my kids.  GAH!  I was hungry last night, but I typically don't have much of a problem abstaining from food the later it gets because I know breakfast isn't far away.  So far so good.  

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Day 2 of 28

The Breakdown:
Day 1, 11/23 - weight 147, calories 1283, no workouts
Day 2, 11/24 - weight 146,

Recap: 
1 of 11 pounds lost total
0 of 3 weight sessions for the week
0 of 3 cardio sessions for the week
0 of 3-6 stretching/foam rolling for the week

Goal weight by 12/20/11: 136



Yesterday was no sweat.  It always seems fairly easy the first day or two of a new plan.  Plus I was still stuffed from eating so much on Thanksgiving.  I'm expecting my weight to perhaps shoot up a little in the coming days from the inevitable water weight my cycle brings.  My lowest weight so far of 145.8 happened on November 12th, so I'm almost back down there!  Man!  Almost 2 weeks of crappiness.  So glad to be back to it!


Friday, November 23, 2012

28 Days - Day 1

Down to business.  Day after Thanksgiving and exactly 28 days until Luke's 1st birthday; which of course is exciting in and of itself, but also marks the 1 year anniversary of my high weight.  I have had a goal of losing 100 pounds within that year, even though I didn't actually start seriously until the end of March (that anniversary holds its own goals).  So I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, and get serious.  Now, of course I very well may not make my goal, it is rather lofty, especially since it's basically the last 10-15 pounds, which are the most difficult.  But it's sure worth a try.  My husband is in on it too, with his own goals of course, and the focus being not allowing Thanksgiving to roll into a month of eating very badly in anticipation of Luke's birthday followed closely by Christmas, followed closely by New Years with all of the leftovers and treats people send home on top of it all.

So here are my goals for this self imposed 28 day challenge:
  • Count Calories daily again: 1200-1500
  • Weight Training 3 days/week: Full body (planning to start NROLFW in January with my goal at this point just being to get consistent with my workouts again)
  • Cardio 3 days/week: Minimum of 30 minutes
  • Stretching and/or Foam Rolling on workout days
  • I'd really like to blog daily just to keep me accountable, so that's a side goal.

Starting weight:
Day 1, 11/23 - 147

Goal weight:
136

So, obviously, that's 11 pounds in 28 days!  Like I said, lofty!  11 would have been hard when I was 50 pounds heavier, now it's nearly impossible.  But I no matter how much I lose, I'm that much closer to my goal!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I'm back to complain!

So I had decided I would be serious until Thanksgiving.  I figured I'd do low carb too.  Then I ended my day yesterday with pizza and beer.  My saving grace was that it did fit into my calories.  I was actually down this morning to 149.8 (down from 151.4).  I feel terrified right now that I am not being more careful!  But it's not as if I don't care!  Obviously I'm still weighing and stressing and obsessing, I'm just lacking in the actual "doing" department.  I've been constantly trying to rationalize both ways of behaving!  On one hand I *should* be able to take a week or two off, eat whatever (within reason of course), relax, and not think about calories and all that.  On the other hand that is an incredibly slippery slope.  PLUS I'm not really truly enjoying it because I'm miserable obsessing over the weight gain and the fact that my pants are tight.  I'm very torn right now.  I have a very hard time with middle ground, I'm typically one extreme or the other.

I'm more just thinking out loud here.  I've gotten some really great advice, and pep talks, from several people in real life, and from my online friends.  All of it is great stuff, makes sense, very rational, motivates me in the moment.  Then I see food I want and everything kind of fades away.  I feel like maybe so many months of being incredibly strict has lead me to this point.  Plus getting to a weight I consider "normal" (around or under 150), fitting into my wedding dress again, fitting into size 8s and 6s.  But I'm not where I want to be yet, I don't want to let up!  I also don't want to be one of those people who can't just take some time off from it and indulge.  I basically just don't want to be me right now.  I said I was fine with maintaining through the holidays, which if that were the case I'd be fine since I was 153.8 when I said that.  But I'm apparantly NOT ok with it.

My youngest is 11 months old today.  In that 11 months I've come a long way, a very long way.  But I really really want to be at minus 100 pounds by his birthday, which of course is now just one month away.  IF that is even possible at this point, it will take some SERIOUS commitment!  I don't even know that it's really possible, short of doing RFL again after Thanksgiving is over as to drop serious water weight along with fat.  I don't know if I have it in me to do that!  Although if I don't have it in me to give it my complete and total ALL, then apparantly I don't want to hit that number in that time frame that badly.  I'm so sick of being hungry all the time.  Sick of turning down every food that sounds good.  Ok, I'm being dramatic now obviously.  I just want to wallow in self pity for moment longer and throw a hissy fit followed by eating whatever I want in the quantities I want.  WAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am definitely disappointed in myself that I find it to be such a struggle so far in.  WHY!?!?!?!?!  Why am I doing this to myself so close to my goal!?  What is wrong with me!?  <------ More dramatics, but still!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Stupid :/

Sometimes the comments people make to me make me feel like I've given the impression that I don't struggle.  Let me tell you something, about a week ago I got down to 145.8, which put me at a 90 pound loss, fit into a size 6, and I celebrated by gaining 5 pounds in the last week.  That's right, FIVE!  Please never think I don't struggle, or sabotage myself, or that I don't shove my face full of crappy food, and completely avoid working out, because I DO!!!  This suck sometimes.  I just want this to come naturally, I don't think it EVER will.  It will always take effort and a lot of planning and thought.  Sometimes that really makes me feel down.  This time of year really sucks for losing weight.  There's so much yummy food everywhere and I am not good at moderation, it takes an incredible amount of restraint and that's hard!!!  I'm kind of having a pity party obviously.  I have to remind myself that 8 months ago, hell even 4 months ago, I'd have killed to be where I am now.  If I were talking to someone else going through the same thing I'd have great advice, I am incapable of taking it myself.

No excuses, just the facts.  Ate too much.  Haven't worked out.  Gained weight.  No mystery!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Your excuses are invalid

When I first started hard core back in March I decided that if I was ever going to get where I wanted to be I needed to stop making excuses why I couldn't do it, because I had plenty of them.  Excuses are a big sign of unreadiness (hmmm, that's most likely not a real word), and if you're not ready you're not ready, and that's a personal thing.  It's a lot of work and a lot of commitment so if you really aren't in a good place with it, it won't last, and that's all but a guaruntee!  Anyway, I wanted to cut out the bull I was feeding myself and decided if I wasn't willing to do it, then I needed to say just that, and not give XYZ excuses why I "couldn't" do it.  When I made myself decide that, I chose to cut the excuses out because I really didn't want to be one of those people who decided to be ok with being obese.  To each his/her own, but I was unhappy and miserable and I wasn't ok with that and needed to stop giving myself permission to continue on that way!

So what's my point!?  Well, I get asked, quite a lo,t variations of the question "How have you lost so much weight!?"  I don't know what people reallly expect me to say, but they almost always seem disappointed in my answer.  Don't get me wrong, my absolute favorite subject in the world is weight loss and all things related (nutrition, exercise, supplements, etc. etc.) -- I'm always thrilled to talk about it, but I can tell when the person asking is hoping I will answer "Actually, I found this new diet where all you eat is pizza and ice cream in whatever quantities you want, you just have to jump up and down 3 times every  hour and you will lose a crap ton of weight!"  I've learned to answer very simply "I eat quite a lot less".  This seems to stop the onslaught of excuses people tend to start throwing at me if I tell them in detail what I've done; or if they are actually really interested they will ask more questions, which I'm happy to answer.  For some reason my weight loss effects some people in a way that it makes them feel the need to defend their own weight issues to me, that does make me feel very bad sometimes.  But like I was saying, if I go ahead with the details after the first inquiry, it tends to lead the person I'm talking to into giving me a laundry list of reasons why what I've done isn't possible for them.  I rarely will call people on their bull, because, well it's really none of my business, but some of the excuses I hear are just terrible.

Excuse #1 - THE FOOD: It's too expensive to eat healthy.  Someone else buys my food so I have to eat what they buy and make. I cook for a family and my kids and/or partner won't support me in my food changes because I am at their mercy.

Nope - wrong.  You don't have to  buy all organic, or shop at Whole Foods/Spouts/Other-Expensive-Granola-Store.  There are plenty of healthy foods that are not expensive at all, not to mention you don't have to do a complete 180 and go from whatever it is you're eating now to eating like a vegan tree hugger.  AND besides that, you don't have to eat "healthy" to lose weight, you just have to be in a calorie deficit, you can eat any food you damn well please (not saying that's the ideal)!  No matter what food is available to you, it is possible to lose weight.  Case closed.

Excuse #2 - THE EXERCISE: I can't afford a gym membership.  I have an injury so I can't workout.  I'm too busy to workout.  I hate working out.  One time I worked out and it was so super hard, I won't do it again.

Uh, no.  Nope, nope, and no.  You don't have to workout to lose weight!  Of course being fit and active is important to being healthy, but it certainly isn't neccessary to drop pounds.  PLUS you don't need a gym to work out, you don't even need home gym equipment.  It's simple, you google at home workouts, or look it up on youtube, it's a thing believe it or not.  Plus there are about a billion workout videos on the market (for cheap), Netflix has a ton of them to stream, you can go for a walk or run or dance in your living room (free),  AND someone busier than YOU worked out today.  Or just don't workout at all, if you are in a calorie deficit you will lose weight, working out is the icing on the cake.

Excuse #3 - I CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT: I've tried every single diet and exercise plan ever made and I just can't lose weight.  My body wasn't meant to be a size 2.  I'm big boned. 

This one is the one that irritates me the most.  Your mommy may have told you you're special, but you are not a biological marvel.  I would seriously hope that if someone truly thought this they'd go to the doctor to see what was wrong with them.  I'm NOT denying that there are indeed medical conditions that make it very difficult to lose weight, but this is typically not what's going on.  There's a saying "every diet works if you follow it" and that's pretty much true, although different things work better for different people.  If you only follow it for a week and expect to lose 30 pounds you will be disappointed.  Weight loss take a lot of TIME!  If you "follow it" but you are taking bites here and there of extra stuff and not really truly following it, you will be disappointed.  People want to say, "it's not me, it's XYZ", when it really and totally is them!  And what's the deal with that "size 2" excuse, I hear that one all the time.  So, what?  You can't be a size 2 so you have to be a size 22!?  NO!  You can be a healthier size, which doesn't mean you  have to be a size 2!  And no, those aren't your bones, that's fat, cut the crap.



It's not at ALL that I think everyone should be losing weight or strivng to be a fitness model, not even a little bit.  BUT, it drives me batty when people act like they want to lose weight but aren't willing to really do even the smallest thing to achieve it.  I'm not interested in hearing people's excuses!  It's hard, and if it weren't no one would be overweight.  I have worked my ass off (quite literally), and when people brush it off like "oh, well it's easy for you because of <whatever>, whereas it's hard for me because of <whatever>" that pisses me off!  It's never been easy, never will be!  Just like ANYTHING in life, success very rarely comes to those who do nothing to work for it.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Officially 90

I hit 145.8 today, which makes it official that I've lost 90 pounds! Well. . . 90.2 to be exact.  I was close yesterday, and the day before, but it wasn't like really actually totally OFFICIAL, like it is today!

I'm getting really close to my goal, I think.  I kind of don't know where exactly I will land.  I do know that I need to get my lazy ass back in the gym.  I've been very full of excuses the last two weeks with the kids taking turns being sick, but they were just that -- excuses.  I haven't gone for a run in a really long time, and I haven't lifted in a couple weeks.  I don't necessarily miss it, but I miss being able to say I did it, HA!  I do miss feeling more active; the kids do keep me active to a certain point, but it's not the same.  I definitely don't feel quite as bad ass when I'm not working out.

At any rate (I hate that saying, but I insist on using sayings and words I hate), I think it's very possible I may hit my original goal of 100 pounds by Luke's 1st birthday December 20th.  It's only 9.8 pounds and about 5 1/2 weeks.  I will get close.  Hell, I'm close now!  If I can keep up the momentum I've had this month so far I definitely have a chance.

Well, I hear Luke, so I better go.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

*PICS* 20 to 6 PEOPLE, TWENTY TO SIX!!!!

Back in March of this year I bought a pair of size 18 pants from Walmart because I was sick of wearing maternity pants 4 months after giving birth.  I assumed an 18 would fit since the 16s in my closet were (WAY) too small.  Well, they didn't fit, they were too tight. I was way too humiliated to exchange them for the size 20s that I really needed.  So the pic below on the left are those very size 18s, but try to imagine that those didn't fit!  The the pic below on the right is me in the size 6s that I JUST bought!  They are a little tight, and I'm totally sucking in (HA!), but they fit!  I NEVER ever photoshop my pictures.  I certainly take several and then pick the one(s) I find most flattering, of course, but I never ever retouch them.  My body is what it is, and believe me, after losing less than a pound away from 90 (NINETY!!!) pounds in less than 11 months, the typical ramifications of that remain, perhaps they will fade a bit with time but maybe not.  I will probably never be able to wear a bikini (without people puking), but I'm proud of my body and what I've be able to accomplish with it!  The battle wounds of obesity (and pregnancy) will be with me as a constant reminder of what I never want to be again!
Size 18s
Size 6s

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Another mini goal met

Mini goals:1st mini goal: 199.8, get under 200!

2nd mini goal: 193, my pre-pregnancy weight.

3rd mini goal: 185.8, no longer considered obese.

4th mini goal: 175, which I got down to in January 2011, a few months before I got pregnant with Luke.

5th mini goal: 163, was my Labor Day goal, (reached a few days late).

6th mini goal: 154.8, no longer considered overweight.

7th mini-goal: 152, how much I weighed when I met Jason.

8th mini-goal: 149.8, because it's the 140s! Holy crap!

9th mini-goal: 145, drivers license weight.

10th mini-goal: 142, lowest weight I've seen as an adult, maybe even as a teen, and my wedding day weight.

11th mini-goal: 139.8, because it's the 130s! OMG!

12th mini-goal: 135, my original goal weight.

13th mini-goal: 130, my new goal weight.

(Secret 14th mini-goal: 125, so I have a fluctuation buffer of 125-130 for maintenance.)

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

October Losses

A pattern I've seen over the months is that many times even though only a few pounds were lost, quite a few inches are lost.  The weird thing is that I haven't lost anything in my waist in a couple months.  I keep getting straighter and straighter because my hips, butt, and bust keep shrinking. 

The RFL really threw me for a loop this month getting my weight down and then having it shoot back up.  I'm just glad I had any loss at all.

I'm kind of just planning on maintaining through the end of the year.  If I lose a few pounds, great, if not it's ok.

October Losses
-3.6 pounds
-6.5 total inches lost
-1.9% body fat

Inches broken down:
Neck -0
Upper Arm -0 ea.
Middle Arm -.25 ea.
Lower Arm -0
Bust -.5
Chest @ Armpits -.5
Under Bust -0
Natural Waist -0
Waist @ Belly Button -.5
Hips -1.25
Butt -.75
Upper Thighs -.75 ea.
Middle Legs -.25 ea.
Upper Calves -0 ea.
Middle Calves -.25 ea.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Things that have helped

I'm a far cry from being an expert on, well, on anything really.  But I do get asked a lot about what things I do, or use, that have helped me out with my weight loss, and related things.  So I thought I'd compile a list of things that have worked for me, or at the very least have helped me out.

3FC.  My home away from home.  Full of the most wonderful and supportive people ever.  I've never ever come across a forum with people like this.  I've been a member of this site since '05, and even though I've come and gone and come back again, it remains the same.  Good people, good advice, people don't shoot you down if you see things differently; it's just a great place.

Dry skin brushing!  This has nothing to do with weight loss, but it does have to do with helping the appearance of stretch marks, cellulite, spider veins, and loose skin.  It is NOT a quick cure, or a cure at all really.  I'm certain people have different experiences with it, but it also has other benefits besides the ones I just mentioned.  It leaves your skin feeling incredibly soft, if nothing else.  I linked to one site, but I did quite a bit of reading on it to make sure I got the right brush, and brushed the right way etc.  I suggest you do the same if it's something you are interested in.  I got my brush at Sprouts, but you can get them on Amazon as well.  They aren't expensive.  It takes several months to notice any significant difference (aside from the smoother skin, which happens right away), and of course you have to do it regularly.  I've been dry skin brushing since the beginning of July, before I bathe, every single day.  If I shower in the morning and then take a bath at night (which I often do), then I do it twice.  I find it to be a nice part of my "beauty" routine, and it only takes a couple minutes.  It is supposed to help your lymph system as well, so I figure for the price, and amount of time it takes, at the very least I have much softer and smoother skin.  I have noticed a difference in the appearance of some patches of spider veins I've had since high school, and I've also noticed a decrease in cellulite (although that could very well have to do with my weight loss and workouts).

My Fitness Pal.  I've used several calorie tracking sites over the years: Fit Day, Spark People, and I'm sure others as well.  I like MFP the best.  I've found their database to be much more extensive than the others.  I've only had to input 2 things since I started logging over there, and both were custom ordered food, so there would have been no way for their database to have it.  I also like that I can add recipes, and the 'most used' and 'recent' foods lists make it very quick to add the foods you eat often.

Lyle McDonald.  I love his articles!  I have spent hours reading and rereading his stuff.

The New Rules of Lifting.  Yes, I just started this program, but the New Rules of Lifting for Women book is just awesome.  Too many women are afraid of lifting, especially of lifting heavy and getting bulky (**CRINGE**).  I LOVE that this book sets things straight and gives a bad ass program to follow.  There are several New Rules books, and while I've only read one of them, I'm certain they are all great!  Obviously you don't have to follow the program to appreciate the book any way it goes.  I've seen on some forums that people have been able to check the book out at their local library.  It's worth the read!

Blender Bottle - Love these things.  We have two, one I got at Target, the other at Fry's Marketplace.  Mixes the crap out of protein shakes!

Food I always have on hand: 
Greek yogurt - I like the big tubs of plain (usually either Fage or Chobani depending what's on sale, sometimes 0% sometimes 2%, again depending on sales) to mix with things like protein powder or to use in place of sour cream.  I also LOVE the flavored Chobani single serving cups, especially Blood Orange and Apple Cinnamon, YUM!  Plus my kids love them too, Win/Win.
Cheese - String Cheese (whatever brand is on sale), The Laughing Cow Mini Babybel, The Laughing Cow Wedges (I've just recently found a generic for these, but just in the swiss flavor), American Cheese (ya, I admitted it).  Fat free cream cheese.
Almonds - Raw
Peanut Butter - I've really really really tried to get into the natural PB, but I can't stand having to refrigerate it or having it be all soupy if you don't.  So I've kind of found a compromise in Jiffy Natural PB.  Obviously it really isn't "natural" as there are added ingredients, but close enough.
Eggs and Bacon and Sausage - A given!  I have an egg sandwich every single morning (with very few exceptions).  I either have 1 egg, or 1 egg and 1 egg white, on either a Thomas's Everything Bagel Thin, whole wheat bread (usually Nature's Own), or one of those sandwich thins (whole wheat), with a slice of American Cheese (don't care it's not "healthy") or a serving of fat free cream cheese, and either 3 slices of microwave bacon (Oscar Mayer or store brand, whatever is on sale that week) or 2 Farmer John's sausage links (maple or regular).  I love it, it may not be what many would consider whole food, or clean food, but it has worked for me!
Protein Powder - Whatever is on sale, but I don't really like Pure Protein's powder.  I much prefer the Target brand (Market Pantry), it mixes way better.  Recently we got a brand at Walmart (I think it's called Muscle Tech), and it's not bad actually.  I really really really like the Gaspari Nutrition powder, but it's a little spendy.
Protein Bars -  Pure Protein on these all the way.  Cheap, decent amount of protein per bar, and they taste decent.  I really like the Kind bars as well, but they aren't really protein bars so much as just like nut bars, they taste great though, especially the coconut one, or the dark chocolate one, YUM!
Canned and Dry Beans
Rice - I actually like brown rice, but Jason isn't a fan, so we usually just have instant white.  I really don't care either way.  I like mixing rice and beans with some chicken.  Super easy and a very nutritious and filling meal.  Especially with some salsa or hot sauce, maybe a sprinkle of cheese and a dab of Greek yogurt.
Popcorn - I got an air popper, and I have some of those Kernel Seasonings, along with some butter spray it's a very low cal but tasty snack (plus a good source of fiber).  I do still love the quick convenience of the 100 calorie mini microwave bags.
Pretzel Sticks - I just like 'em.  Especially with some fat free cream cheese.
Chicken breasts, lean ground turkey, Tilapia, lean ground beef, canned chicken, canned tuna, lunch meat
Splenda/Generic Sucralose Equivalent
Pam/Butter Spray - I will use Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Coconut Oil, or even butter sometimes, but I most often just use the spray and save some calories for more substantial food.

As you can see, I don't eat anything fancy at all.  I go through stages of trying to eat more whole foods but when it comes down to it, I fall back on the old standbys, and luckily a lot of what I eat is pretty healthy.  I struggle with getting in my vegetables, and even my fruit.  I do try to remember to take a multi and I've recently started taking Omega 3s.  I'm not huge on supplements, but I do think protein powder, a multi and some Omega 3s are worth taking.

Obviously this is all just what has worked for ME.


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Boring update

Today was my first full day not using the scale.  And I only weighed myself ONCE yesterday.  This is a big deal for me.  It was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be!  I ate well yesterday; hit my macros and set calories for the day, and I was right on today as well.  With the New Rules program I get to eat A LOT more than I have been.  On a workout day right at 2000, on a rest day right around 1700.  I'm used to eating so much less, it's so weird to be able to eat so much!  Good weird!  Anyway, it was a relief not weighing myself, but since I'm tracking my calories, and getting my workouts in, I'm not stressed about it.  It's really nice to just be trying to focus on the health and fitness rather than the scale.

My workout yesterday went really well!  It's a pretty simple workout, 5 exercises, 2 sets each, some supersets, and this portion of the program takes about a half hour (not bad!).  It's a fairly intense workout though, the weights are heavy (of course 'heavy' is relative), and I'm sore!  Feels good though.  I have the 2nd workout of the 1st program tomorrow (the 2 workouts to be alternated throughout the first 6 weeks), and I'm looking forward to it!  It is meant to be done 3 days a week, which is very realistic.  I just did some moderate walking afterwards yesterday.  I'm headed to the gym again tonight for some cardio too.  I love that my mom is my gym buddy!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Perspective

Back in April I wrote a letter to my 23 year old self.  I just went back and read it.  It's funny the perspective you can lose in just a couple of months.  First off, I was wrong, I don't have those jeans anymore, AND I was wrong that I'd never fit into that size again, in fact I can.  I was wrong, also, that I had this all figured out.  I seriously hope that no one reading this blog thinks that just because I’ve lost as much as I have that I have things figured out – actually I would be surprised if anyone thinks I’m anything but a nutcase really.  I don’t mean that in a self-deprecating way, I mean it in a reality kind of way; and I’m okay with being a little nuts.

I don’t know at what point I decided nothing I do is good enough.  I’ve reverted to a lot of old bad habits.  I was naïve to think those wouldn’t come back to haunt me; old habits die hard and all that.  I’m going to start the NROLFW program today, and I’m going to follow their calorie intake guidelines, which are substantially higher than I’ve eaten in a long while.  Aside from that I’m going to start working on some things that I’ve lost sight of, some things I was really good about in the beginning – being kind to myself and working on my body for health and fitness (not just for a smaller waistline), stopping the negative self talk and all of the self punishment.  I’m seriously considering only weighing in once a week, but it’s hard for me to give up that control.  I think it would be good for me though.  As long as I’m counting calories I know exactly how much I’m eating and that it would be impossible for me to gain fat at that level.  If I’m going to take the stance that the scale isn’t as important as my fitness and health, especially since I’m a normal weight now, I need to actually put that into practice.  The scale does drive me crazy, and some days it does really effect my mood, and that isn’t good.

So that's my new and improved plan.  In summary: be less crazy, workout more, take care of myself.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Brutal, it's just brutal

Alright, honesty.

This Rapid Fat Loss diet is ridiculous for me, and I'm not doing it anymore.  Have been talking myself into it for 8 days because I'm loving see the weight melt off this far in!  It's very odd to have lost as much as I have, be at a "normal" weight, and be able to drop nearly 7 pounds in a week.  Even though it's obviously a lot of water weight, I've been dieting a long time and to me it was unexpected.  But I've felt like shit the entire time I've been doing this plan, it's just been masked my by happiness with the scale.  I've literally felt like I'm going to pass out every time I stand up.  And I thought to myself well it's a trade off for losing weight so fast and I like that.  But I'm very edgy and anxious and just can't physically do ANYTHING.  That's insane!  And of course I know this, but the weight loss is almost like a drug, and I'm totally addicted.  The more I lose the more I want to lose.  But when will it be enough?  I'm afraid it won't ever be.  I have a lot of fear about that actually.  Will I ever be happy?  Am I already one of those people who complains they're fat but really they aren't?  I don't know!  I know I look good compared to how I USED to look, which should make me feel great all the time.  And I DO feel great a lot of the time, but then I hit these moments, sometimes many moments, where I feel so disgusting still.  I put on my new size 8 jeans this morning and they make me feel fat because they are tight, not TOO tight, but form fitting.  How the hell can I feel fat still?!  I took them off and put on a pair of size 10s, which were much looser and thus more comfortable.  Now, to many thin people a 10 is probably enormous, but what the hell do I care what other people think!?  I know I do look good, so why is it not good enough yet?  Today I am not counting calories, I'm going to eat what sounds good, be reasonable, not pig out but eat like a normal person, and try my hardest not to feel guilty. 

The mental part of losing weight is much much much more exhausting to me than the exercise and calorie deficit.  I feel like a total head case.  The thing about being fat is that you can kind of blame your short comings and faults on it.  Even though I know that none of my issues, other than being fat itself, had to do with being fat -- it was easy to blame all of my self esteem, body image, and confidence issues on the fat.  Once you strip that away and are left to look at yourself and you still see all that crap it just makes you feel like you don't know anything about yourself anymore.  I look in the mirror and focus on the faults in my body to try and distract myself from my other faults.  Logically, I know this.  I guess that's something.

I'll tell you what though, my 85 pound heavier self would be pissed at my 85 pound lighter self for being unhappy about my body still.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

YAY!!! (And RFL - Day 8)

Got off work a little early and went and tried on clothes for fun (I do that now!), and I officially fit into a size 8 in women's, size 9 in juniors (holy crap I can fit into juniors clothes!?  I haven't tried on juniors clothes in years!).  I went to two stores and tried on several different brands of jeans, dress pants, dresses, and skirts; I needed to ensure it wasn't a fluke of a brand that runs big, fooling me into thinking I'm a size I'm not.  The only ones that simply would not fit were a pair of size 9s that I didn't realize until I was struggling to pull them past my child bearing hips that they were labeled "straight hip straight leg", of which I am neither.  I have me some thighs and some hips, I doubt I will ever fit into anything clothing labeled "straight".

Feeling pretty damn good about fitting into single digit clothing!



***************************************************

Day 1 weight: 157
Day 2 weight: 155.4
Day 3 weight: 154.4
Day 4 weight: 153.2
Day 5 weight: 152.6
Day 6 weight: 151.8
Day 7 weight: 151
Day 8 weight: 150.4


FREE MEAL DAY.  It was glorious.  I had just what I planned and got right back on track. 

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

RFL - Day 7

Day 1 weight: 157
Day 2 weight: 155.4
Day 3 weight: 154.4
Day 4 weight: 153.2
Day 5 weight: 152.6
Day 6 weight: 151.8
Day 7 weight: 151

Crazy crazy crazy!  I've dropped a pant size in 7 days (granted I was teetering anyway). Free meal tomorrow, doing it in the morning.  Been dreaming about it, and planning it!  I've been craving a McDonald's hot Caramel Mocha for DAYS.  You know, I love the Starbucks Salted Caramel Mocha, and it's probably blasphemous on some level, but I like the McDonald's one more (and it has less calories).  See how obsessed I am!?  Anyway, I'm looking very forward to my free meal.  It'll be interesting to see how much the scale goes up on Day 9 -- of course I'm hoping not much and that having the free meal in the morning will offset any gain, but realistically because of how low my carbs have been, it's kind of inevitable the scale will shoot up with water weight.  I will still keep my calories low, so I know I will be in a deficit, no chance of fat gain that way.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Another mini-goal met & RFL - Day 6

Day 1 weight: 157
Day 2 weight: 155.4
Day 3 weight: 154.4
Day 4 weight: 153.2
Day 5 weight: 152.6
Day 6 weight: 151.8

Struggled with some hunger today which wasn't helped by there being cookies and donuts in the house (thanks to "treats" for the kids from Nana).  I resisted, but I was a little cranky about it.  I don't like junk food in the house, not only because of my weight loss, but because then that's what Emma wants to eat.

Only 1 full day till a free meal.  I'm looking forward to it!


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Mini goals:
1st mini goal: 199.8, get under 200! 


2nd mini goal: 193, my pre-pregnancy weight.

3rd mini goal: 185.8, no longer considered obese.

4th mini goal: 175, which I got down to in January 2011, a few months before I got pregnant with Luke.

5th mini goal:  163, was my Labor Day goal, (reached a few days late).

6th mini goal: 154.8, no longer considered overweight.

7th mini-goal: 152, how much I weighed when I met Jason.

8th mini-goal: 149.8, because it's the 140s!  Holy crap!

9th mini-goal: 145, drivers license weight.

10th mini-goal: 142, lowest weight I've seen as an adult, maybe even as a teen, and my wedding day weight.

11th mini-goal: 139.8, because it's the 130s!  OMG!

12th mini-goal: 135, my original goal weight.

13th mini-goal: 130, my new goal weight.

(Secret 14th mini-goal: 125, so I have a fluctuation buffer of 125-130 for maintenance.)