I've been super motivated to make it to this 136 goal by 12/20, if you've read recently you know. Anyway, I've been thinking a lot lately about my goals and how I will know when I'm happy and ready for maintenance. Sometimes I'm already happy! Sure I'd like to trim some fat off the tummy/hips/love handle area, and add some muscle to the booty area as it has gotten rather sad looking; but over all I'm pretty happy as it is.
I committed to this 28 days, so I will do it; but I'm waivering in my belief of the importance of getting to 100 lbs by the 1 year mark, especially since I didn't really start TRYING to lose weight until March. It's weird because I just kind of still have this thing inside me that feels like I'm not allowed to be happy, confident, and feeling good just yet. I feel like it's not good ENOUGH yet, so I can't be done. I kind of want to be done though, ya know!? I'm close to that 136, 10 pounds or so doesn't seem like much in the scheme of things anymore. I had then set these lower goals of getting into the 120s too, but I just don't know. And then when I start thinking that I don't know if it's because really I'm find and a few more pounds is good, and I look good, and I feel good so why not just maintain; OR if I'm starting to think that because this is a comfort zone and going lower is unknown territory and I'm scared. I feel like I probably know which one it is, but now I've talked myself into believing I don't know. It's weird to not trust yourself. But I have a history of disguising my excuses as "reasonable explainations/justifications", and I also have been known to be unreasonable in my goal setting -- so I don't know.
In short. I guess I know I'm not done just yet, but I just can't imagine it's that far away. It's probably more a matter of being consistent with weight training as to change body composition than anything.
Evaluate carefully - if you're not willing to do the work to maintain that the 120's might require, it is NO failure to maintain at an easier, more comfortable spot. I can understand the psychological drive to see your goal this year, I have a bit of that going on, too. But I'm not going to make myself crazy for it.
ReplyDeleteTo put it in perspective, I've failed to make my original weight goal of 160 going on four years now. But while I know I'm not there and still too heavy for my liking, that doesn't mean I can't be content and even thrilled over how I look at this very moment. Even with the massive belly, I can see a huge difference from previous pregnancies in how the REST of me looks and it is great, goal or no. When you take the long term perspective of this all being for life, the time in loss mode vs. maintenance mode becomes a lot less crucial, and in some cases the two just blur together!
Thanks, Taryl! I guess that's the thing, I don't know exactly what it will take to maintain that lower weight, so I'm not sure if I'm willing.
DeleteYou're right about the perspective; I think I just need to start saying nicer things to myself (which I was better at 40 - 60 pounds ago oddly enough), instead of focusing on what I perceive as my shortcomings.