The Double Standard

I think most would agree it would be incredibly rude to make a comment to an overweight person while they were eating like "Wow, you sure are shoveling it in.  MAN!  You eat a lot!  No wonder you're so fat!".  Right!?  I know that there are some jerks out there who say super rude things (and worse), but it certainly isn't socially acceptable to do so!

Why, then, does it seem to be just fine to make comments the opposite way!?

I saw it all the time growing up in regards to my mom, who was always very thin.  And I've seen it with my sister as well, also very thin.  And I have seen it with one of my thin friends.  And NOW I get to experience it, and let me tell you, it can be a little wearing!

I don't know exactly at what point it happened, but it was fairly recently, I have gotten comments like:

Do you eat?
Why aren't you eating?
Are you anorexic?
Are you going to eat?
Is that all you're eating?
It seems like you don't eat anymore!
Here have some cake/pie/chips/cookies/second helping!  You are getting too skinny!


I'll admit at first it was a little fun getting these comments, but it has started to make me incredibly self conscious at any gathering where there will be food when the food police are constantly present.  Why do people think it's ok to comment on what other people eat.  Or on other people's bodies for that matter.  You don't really hear people say "Dang,  you sure are getting fat, you better stop eating so damn much!".  Again, I'm sure there are some total douche bags out there who speak to others like this, but it isn't considered ok!  So why then is it ok to say to someone "You're getting too skinny!" in a slightly disgusted manner.  I'm starting to get it from people I barely know, and I KIND OF get it, in a way.  When I was heavy I would see someone who had lost weight and think that they looked really good, and yet they would talk about losing more, and it would kind of irritate me because I was sitting there all fat, and there they sat looking perfect and yet wanted to look even more perfect.  I would sometimes take it as a personal attack, which of course it had nothing to do with me.  I do try to keep that in mind, because typically that's where those types of comments are coming from.  It's their issue, not mine. 

But, just as I would never in a million years say to someone "You are gaining too much weight, you need to lose some!", I don't appreciate being told "You are losing too much weight, you need to stop!".  While I realize it's typically coming from people who care about me, and just want me to be happy and think I already look good it's becoming slightly annoying.  No one said a word when I gained a crap ton of weight!  I know I look good (not to be totally conceited or anything), especially compared to how I looked dozens and DOZENS of pounds ago, I look much better clothed than in the buff.  I have many many more pounds of excess fat to lose, especially in my midsection!  Sometimes I'm tempted to lift my shirt and show people when they tell me to stop losing weight, that'd be a shocker wouldn't it!?

I do have this theory though, that since skinny is such a culturally GREAT thing here in America (well, and so many other places), "insulting" someone about their skinniness is about the equivalent of disgustedly telling someone they are too rich.  Like, ya it's kind of an insult but kind of a compliment at the same time.  Of course that isn't always the case, but I think it's true a good part of the time.