Dear 23 Year Old Self,

June 2006

Awww look how cute you are 23 year old Stephanie!  That'll be up on myspace in about 2 seconds won't it!?  Seeing you makes me kind of sad, but what I really want to say is. . . You are an ASS!  I'd congratulate you on your 60 pound weight loss but that would be like congratulating a robber on his newly acquired fortune.  You didn't do this the right way and you will regret that.  You smoke, you starve yourself, you do up to 4 hours of cardio a day.  You don't take care of yourself and you will pay for that.  All those days you didn't eat enough and just smoked, and drank diet sodas and energy drinks won't have been worth it in the end.  It took you the better part of a year to get here and it will take you less than that to gain it all back.   Look at your cute little tummy!  6 years, 2 pregnancies, many dozen pounds, and a gall bladder removal from now you will look at this tummy with a certain amount of jealousy and awe at the lack of scars, stretch marks, and fat.  But you will also look at it with some pity, because you will know how hungry it is!  23 year old Stephanie, if only you knew what I know now!  But you don't, you're a dumb idiot and you will learn all your lessons the hard way.  Ah, but that is life.  Thanks 23 year old self for reminding me that it is worth it to take care of myself and treat myself kindly.  Thank you for doing things the wrong way so that I could learn from your mistakes.  Thank you for showing me that doing things the quickest way doesn't mean it's the best way.  Thanks for teaching me to focus on health rather than vanity!  And thanks for reminding me there is indeed still a hottie inside me somewhere.

Love,
29 Year Old Self

P.S.  You still will have those junior size jeans you are wearing there, but because of the 2 cute kids you have they may never fit again, just a heads up!  Also wait a few more years to buy a house, the market is going to go down the shitter.